i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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