guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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