you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
