their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
