omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
