I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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