I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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