When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
