So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
