He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
