We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
