What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
