Nicole vs. Life
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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