I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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