Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
