You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
