I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just high enough for therapy.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You are a genius and a whore.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
