why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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