two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
