The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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