You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
