It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
