You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
