Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
