It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
