your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
