Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
