sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
