Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
and i looked up. we had an audience...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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