At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
soo... how was my night?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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