My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
