After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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