Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
