thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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