I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
