Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Text me some of your sweat
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
