You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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