can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
