Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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