where am i from again
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
