1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
