You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
