So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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