I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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