just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
