best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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