I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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