just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
