dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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