you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
