i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
