sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
